Supposed to feel
Thursday, Oct. 16, 2003, 08:50
"This is what its supposed to feel like."
I couldn't sleep last night. Those words echoing in my head like slivered shards of glass intertwined with glistening dewdrops of hope. "This is what its supposed to feel like." whispered breathlessly in your ear. I don't really recall saying those words to you, but as I rewind the tape in my mind over and over again, it does seem vaguely familiar.....almost like a dream. A surreal, wonderful dream much like a Dali. Reality and fantasy blurred beyond recognition. A dream that I have had many times and only now do I have a face to fill the void that was there. The missing piece of the puzzle has been found and now the dream makes sense. (Did you realize how close to the dream you are?)
I wonder which words of that haunting confession were emphasized. "THIS is what its supposed to feel like." or "This is what its SUPPOSED to feel like." No matter, because however it was said can only be summed up as a simple, unbelievable "Wow!" Amazing that you evoked such passion and fire from so deep within my soul. Without my being aware you touched a part of my existence that was unknown to me. A part of my heart and mind that had been hidden deep in the darkness, waiting, yearning, aching to escape.
Maybe it was the wine or perhaps something in the water. It could have been something you said or the way that you looked at me over dinner. Something I ate,perhaps? Maybe it was the magic of the day and the romance of the evening. The security that I felt lying in your arms in the wee hours of the night, you lying between me and the door, as a means to protect me from anything threatening to awake me from my wonderful dreams. Dreams of you and wine glasses, snowflakes and fields of poppies, warm crackling fires and poetry. All things wonderful and passionate. All things you. I can't explain it, for I have never felt this before.
A friend told me that when I find love, it will hit me between the eyes and there won't be one thing that I can do about it. So.....this is what its supposed to feel like. YUM!!
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