Confusion at 4 am
Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2004, 04:05
Why don't men get it? Love,I mean. And timing. Why are they so clueless when they should know everything? We tell them, we show them, we do everything but draw a map marked with huge red Xs and pretty pink hearts. We show them what we need by our actions and we tell them with our words, and they still don't get it. They shrug us off like we are always going to be there. Its like they expect us to always be there, waiting, wishing and of course reciprocating the little bit of affection that they bestow upon us. They have better things to do, wild oats to sow, other women to see....that is, until we are finished with them. Why does it take a completely broken heart to get through to them? The breaking point for us comes slowly,bit by bit. We gradually withdraw into a shell, all the while hoping that he will notice before it is too late. But he doesn't,instead its when the final "I am fed up!" is uttered and we have decided to completely take ourselves and our hearts out of the equation that he realizes what is going on, what has been going on for months, in many cases for years. For years we have been distancing ourself, preparing for the final bolt, while at the same time trying to stay close just in case he is one of the few that does have an inkling as to what relationships are all about. Often it is when another man has shown interest that he suddenly wakes up out of his self imposed coma and takes notice. For most women it is too late. Once the heart is is closed it remains closed, and no amount of begging or pleading, crying even can open the door. It is locked and will remain so.
So why don't they get it? Do they truly want you when all hope is lost, or is it that you are suddenly (to them) a challenge again? Do men want what they can't have? What happens if they win you over? Is it a vicious cycle of cat and mouse? Must we pretend to be uninterested in order to keep the fires burning? Why must it be like this at all? Men from Mars, women from Venus..........what is the answer to being on the same page? Hell, the same chapter or even the same book would be nice sometimes.
How do you find a teammate when everyones rule books are written in different languages? No two people play the game the same way. In his version,Kings reign supreme, there are no Queens, Hearts are worth zero points and Jokers have free reign. That is, until you throw your cards down and say "I'm out." Then suddenly Queens are most important, the Kings turn into Knights, Hearts are worth thousands of points and Jokers disappear. But its too late, the cards have been reshuffled and we don't remember what was in our hand.
Why do fools fall in love, indeed.
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