Calling It Quits.
Wednesday, Apr. 14, 2004, 09:04
I am giving it up. Things aren't going as planned, so all I can do is quit. Its so very depressing to admit this to anyone,let alone myself......but whats a girl to do? I have never considered myself a quitter before because I usually hang in there until the last tangled golden thread breaks and I come crashing to the ground. They all look down at me and say "Get up from there, you look like a fool!" So I dust myself off,have a good laugh and roll with the punches. I am strong, I am a survivor and I will not fail. Thats how it used to be anyway.
I am usually so optimistic about these things, my glass is always half full, there are always rainbows after rain, and tons of silver linings scattered across the sky. But not today, not at this particular moment. Things look bleak and all I want to do is to hide and forget that you don't love me in that way....you are not "in love" with me.
Please don't feel bad, I know that you have no more control over your emotions than I do. I read today that love is not something you feel,it is something you do. I know that you love me, otherwise you would have been gone long ago. Instead you stick around, indulging my silliness, cheering me up when I am down, giving me the confidence to carry on, wanting me to be happy and insisting that I give "all those men" a chance.
That last one is a little hard to do,considering that at the moment all I want is one.
last - next