Reluctance
Monday, Sept. 27, 2004, 21:46
Have you ever met someone who put in your mind that they could be everything that you had ever hoped for or dreamt of? Have you ever had someone to offer your fondest wishes without you doing or saying anything to entice such behavior?
They tell me that love finds you when you least expect it. When you aren't looking, it smacks you right between the eyes.
I have been an awesome girlfriend to every man that I have dated and not one (in 12 years) has offered HALF of what I am being offered now. This comes as a shock because I haven't done anything that I usually do in a relationship. I have not made any moves, laid on any charms, flirted shamelessly or been intimate with him. I have not been available to his every whim or been his doormat. Yet he is head over heels for me and knows already that he wants to spend a lot of time with me.
The next question is how to relax and enjoy it. How do I toss aside every life lesson that has taught me that I cannot be loved and committed to, that I am incapable of being more than their friend with benefits? How do I accept his offer without doubting that I am worthy of his desire? How do I jump in with both feet and take the chance?
Slowly...... one toe at a time.
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