Glo-Brite
Sunday, May. 25, 2003, 20:49
I am glowing.....three people said so today and I was told that last night... and about three days ago. What does this mean?? I have never "glowed" in my life, or at least I can't remember the last time that someone thought that I was. None the less, I am perplexed...is it because I am happy, is it love, relief or all three????? I don't "feel" like I am in love, at least not like I have felt before when I thought that I was in love, hey maybe thats it.... the last time I only "thought" that it was love,when I may have been confusing love with lust. Whatever the case may be, this time is different............I feel comfortable, natural, like this is the way that the world is supposed to be. There have been brief instances when "J" will say or do something, and a flash of the words I LOVE YOU flicker through my mind...you know, like it would be perfectly normal to say those words at that time...I can imagine myself telling him that and him not recoiling in utter disgust ( not that I think he would, but anything is possible)
I don't know if I subconsciously love him and don't want to admit it, if I feel soooo comfortable with him that I am fond of him like an old pair of well worn sneakers,or if the romantic in me is scratching the surface again after all this time. One of my dearest friends told me " Don't say it if you don't mean it....but you wouldn't be thinking it if you didn't feel it." SEE what I mean?? Total confusion.
Maybe I am thinking too much, simmer down and enjoy the moment....yea thats it...I will take baby steps...one day at a time, just chill........although...people tell me that I am glowing whenever they ask how the lovelife is going... or how the new guy is working out and I smile and say "Wonderful" :) :) :)....what do you think that means????????
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