Same Ole Stuff
Monday, Jul. 04, 2005, 15:40
It was bound to happen. Things between RC and I were going perfect....too perfect in fact. We saw each other often, had tons of fun, enjoyed each others company so much that we could spend two days together and not be bored. We shared secrets, talked on the phone every day and became close friends. We had discussed "relationships" and agreed that we would take this wonderful thing one day at a time and not attach any sort of label to it. Live in the moment, so to speak.
Then it happened.....jealousy reared its ugly head. I asked RC to go with me to hear DH and the band play at a local sports bar and he was livid!!!! We argued for nearly three days over it. First he didn't want to talk about it, then he wanted to know why it was such a big deal for me to go, why did I ask him to go too when I knew that he had "issues" with David, why did I insist on going alone because he wasn't going, would I go anyway if he asked me not to, etc and so on.
My position was this~ David is my friend and I am proud that he is getting somewhere with his music. It was his CD release party, so it was a big deal for me to show my support. I love to hear live music and it is even better when you know the lead singer. Also, RC has no right to ask me not to do anything because we are not "dating" nor is he willing to commit to me in any form or fashion.
RC wasn't buying any of it. He accused me of having a "thing" for David and/or with David. He thought that I had been lying about my relationship with David and about the fact that we are just friends now.
I made plans to go to the party and at the last minute RC agreed to go with me. I arrived at his place at 9:30 PM (the show started at 10) to find him fresh out of the shower and not dressed. He slowly got dressed then wanted to get something to eat. He took me to a very nice, sit down restaurant and we eventually finished eating at 11:30. We got to the bar in time to hear three songs and then the band took a break. RC kept saying "Why don't you go talk to your boyfriend Dave?" and eventually David came over to us. He gave me a quick hug and started talking to RC. Needless to say, we didn't stay long. RC was ready to go after about an hour.
It was HUGE to me that he made the effort to do something that he hated and I thought that maybe it would be a step forward in regards to a relationship. Or that it would solidify what we had as a really cool, easy going non-dating relationship. But instead it had the opposite effect. RC has realized that because he got sooo mad and sooo jealous about the David thing that he is getting too close to me. He is having emotions that he doesn't want to have and he needs to take a step back. He needs some space and assures me that he has not lost interest in me, nor is he interested in anyone else. He tells me he loves me and that I am an awesome woman, unlike any other he knows.
So it goes, another instance of a man who is not ready for someone like me. I was cool with the idea of a day by day thing, but apparently he is not even ready for that with me.
Sheesh, I am really getting tired of it all.
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