Be careful of what you wish for.
Thursday, May. 20, 2004, 11:40
I had heard that phrase often when I was growing up, "Be careful of what you wish for, you may get it." It seemed odd at the time, but now, looking back I realize that maybe I should have heeded that warning.
The "Player" has shown a unusual interest in his daughter lately. Meaning where he had no interest whatsoever,he has now decided that he wants to be "Daddy". I am still at a loss about what to do, so I am playing nice for the moment, just until I can get a plan of action together. I am very suspicious and unsure of what his motive is here.
He came over last night to see the Princess for her birthday and to give her a gift. It was a very nice gift and she enjoys it a lot. In fact she is still playing with it now as I type this, oblivious to the turmoil that gift is causing me at the moment. I am almost sure that no good can come of his involvement with us,but that wasn't always the case.
Once upon a time, long, long ago I loved this man with all of my heart and soul and wanted to build a life and a family with him more than anything else in the world. I would often wish that he would accept our daughter and love us enough to do the right thing and take responsibility for the situation. But he never did and instead stated that he didn't want a baby, therefore he didn't have a baby.
We have spent most of her six years on this earth alone, without anything more from him that the monthly child support, and quite frankly, his absence had just begun to suit me nicely. Then he changes his mind, decides that he wants visitation with her and is determined it seems to do that. He calls, he comes by, he is buying her gifts, offering to take her to a movie and the park.........almost everything I used to wish for is coming to pass, it seems.
I asked why he was not still seeing the woman that he met four years ago (the one that discovered and told me that he was married, while he was seeing me and playing boyfriend on the side with her, the same one who loved him as much as I did and refused to believe that he would ever lie to her) and he told me that it ended a couple of months ago because he was ready to get married and she wasn't. I laughed hysterically but he seemed serious and looked a little saddened by my disbelief. He is ready to be a husband and have a family, now at 37 he is finally ready to act the right way and to stop being a Player.
Odd, very, very odd, indeed! True, I still do not know what his intentions are, if he plans to try to win me back and to ultimately settle down or if he truly is just interested in being a father.
Time will tell, and I will try to be very careful of what I wish for in the future, because after all.....I may get it when I least expect it.
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